On the Gift of Awareness

Here’s Baby Sky, at 5+ months, at the mall after going Christmas shopping at Gucci’s (behind her).

Just kidding. She is at the mall, but we were meeting a friend to pass off an original Baby Bjorn I borrowed so the owner could loan it to another mom. (Baby Sky would have none of it as it’s been above 80 degrees for all but 3 days since she was born and the original model apparently is stifling.)

And that’s largely what this post is about: The myriad ways a new little creature of the human variety can cause one’s consumer habits to become profoundly altered, and not in a good way. Purchases, purchases, purchases. Manufacturing, using resources, transportation, hazardous substances, worker’s rights, the planet, carbon footprints, disposing of . . . whatever. Veganism, capitalism, and especially during December, atheism (or not). These are the things I think about at a new level. And I think about products I never gave a thought to before.

It’s impossible to maintain your carbon footprint and your current level of consumption when you adopt a human or nonhuman animal. It’s math—there’s someone else in the house who needs to eat and do other things. Even if your dog or cat has no store-bought toys, they eat and go to the vet, and that costs money and takes resources. They probably have some “stuff.”

And humans, well, they’ve got stuff too. The trick is to buy as little stuff (or new stuff) as possible. I’m lucky enough to have a friend with spectacular fashion sense and a two-year old girl. Translation? I now have an entire wardrobe for Baby Sky, from birth to two years, much of which I would never have purchased, and I acquired it for exactly zero dollars. Plus, I have a girlfriend with a two-year old boy who had every piece of baby gear ever created for such individuals from 0-2, which is now all mine (for a short period), again for exactly zero dollars. When I’m done with something, I bring it to the Foster and Adoptive Parents Association, and from there it goes to people who need it, again for no cost to them. There are consignment shops, there’s Craigslist and e-bay. You can find just about anything second hand, including “gently used” cloth diapers, online.

I kid you not when I say that my only purchases have been diapers (cloth, and the organic ones aren’t the best-functioning, in my experience), formula (Earth’s Best Organic Soy), glass bottles, and a couple of random things that I was able to find in eco-friendly versions (like the Diaper Dude diaper bag, made from recycled materials, and the not-at-all-inexpensive mat, which is far friendlier to tiny limbs and faces than my tiled and berbered floors).

Regarding diapers, yes, I do twice as much laundry as I did before, but at least I’m not adding thousands of diapers and untreated human waste to landfills. Plus cloth is less expensive.

After gear comes learning about books and, well, the world. There’s the dearth of books for vegan kids (and vegbooks is on the case), and a difficult toy situation, for both the environment and the animals. I could have obtained dozens of toys from friends, but between vinyl, phthalates, latex, lead, and other substances I try to avoid, toys are challenging. At this point, Sky’s favorite toy is my watch, which is endlessly fascinating to her.

Life would sure be a lot easier for all of us, at least short term, if I didn’t think about all of this and just went to the mall to buy whatever Sky wants or needs, including disposable diapers, disposable wipes (I’ve made my own from receiving blankets), and “baby’s first Turkey and Rice.” It would be a lot easier if I plopped Sky down in front of the television to watch Barney or one of the many animal farm-based cartoons that parents probably don’t think twice about.

We’re the luckiest couple in the world to be able to be Sky’s parents. And part of what we’re doing to honor her is giving her the gift of awareness about the impact of our decisions. The impact of the purchases we make and the life choices we make on the planet and the creatures—human and nonhuman—who call it home. We’re not going to tell her that some animals are for eating and some are for petting. We’re not going to tell her that if you’re treating someone kindly while they’re alive, it’s okay to kill them if you want to.

Of course, it’s impossible to live a life that is entirely consistent, with every purchase and every decision being harmless to the planet and its inhabitants, but that doesn’t mean we don’t wake up each day and do our level best.