Critically Endangered Species Should Just Die Already

Blue fin tuna may only be found in aquariums soon

There is an international convention held every four years. Representatives from nations around the globe meet, eat lots of dead animals, and then talk about ways in which they can save (or screw over) critically endangered species. That convention is called CITES, which stands for Convention on Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora. If a species is lucky, they’ll be voted near-death enough to receive CITES protected status. There are various levels of protection but all seek to reduce the likelihood that a species will go extinct (courtesy of the human race, thanks).

Under discussion at the most recent convention were several marine species, including 8 species of sharks, a coral species and blue fin tuna. Just so there aren’t any surprises, all of the species were told to just die already.

Blue fin tuna are critically endangered. They are near extinction. Their population has been reduced to 3-20% of their levels 40-50 years ago. Again, they are near extinction. You can thank the sushi industry for that – nearly 75% of all blue fin tuna is consumed in Japan and almost all blue fin tuna is used to make sushi. They are also popular targets in sportsfishing because, as it turns out, they don’t want to die and fight like crazy to live. Weird, huh?

So if you are CITES, what do you do?
A) Give that species the most protection in order to rebuild the population?
B) Eat the flesh of the critically endangered species before the vote and just go with your taste buds?
C) Heed the special interests of multi-billion dollar industries who really love hunting this species?
D) Sell your soul and do B) and C)?

You do D, of course, because why not? Delegates ate the flesh of blue fin tuna before the vote. I mean, it’s awful enough that most of the delegates ate the flesh of cattle, pigs, chickens and other fishes at the convention, but it is especially creepy that delegates meeting to save species’ from extinction eat the flesh of animals whose species are going extinct. Boggles the mind, really.

Blue fin tuna? You may all go die now, your presence in the oceans is not needed!

What about the other marine species? All the shark species were denied any protection as well. This is because shark finning is way more important than preserving the integrity of the ocean’s ecosystem. If you are unfamiliar with the horror shark finning, imagine this: You trap a tiger alive. You cut off his legs. Then you throw the fully conscious, still living tiger back in the woods. That is what happens to sharks. Their fins are lopped off fully and then the living, breathing, writhing in agony shark is thrown back into the ocean. To die a slow death.

Porbeagle and seven other species of shark? You too may go die now, you’re not needed, we just want your fins!

And the coral? Well, bugger off, pink corals. You were clearly put here on earth so humans could wear you as necklaces and earrings and bracelets. You being the backbone of a diverse biological system is not important. Backbones in the oceans are unnecessary. So please, go die now, but let us wear you first!

The big winner at the convention happens to be an adorable salamander. It turns out if you don’t have the multi-billion dollar fishing industry on your side and, instead, you sell a few salamanders over the interwebz, well that’s not cool. And it isn’t, of course. Leave the newts alone, please. If you sell newts, stop. Start fishing blue fin tuna. It’s more profitable and totally legal. CITES will fully support you in your cause to rid the world of those pesky carnivorous fishes.

Across the globe, off the eastern seaboard of the United States, the right whale is discovering that even when a species gets protection, if no one enforces the rules and regulations set forth, well, hey right whale? Go die already!

In 2006, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, a United States Department of Commerce agency, proposed a reduction in ship speed in areas off the eastern seaboard where whale strikes were common and right whales were prevalent. In four years, 17 right whales were killed, including 6 breeding females because of sheep* ship strikes. Those deaths were the impetus for the proposal. There are only 300-400 right whales left on earth. Losing one breeding female may mean the difference between the survival of a species and its demise.

But the shipping industry, the Navy, port authorities, even whale watching companies opposed the proposal. They thought it was silly that the cause of death (ships) for “less than 50%” of all whale strikes should have to adhere to new rules. While one of their concerns was valid, that smaller ships – exempted from the rules – may also kill whales, the idea that getting somewhere a little faster is more important than the preservation of an entire species is offensive.

After two years of public comments, the White House finally approved the rule and ships are supposed to slow down during the right whale migration and breeding season.

Problem is, they don’t. And the coast guard, federal and state wildlife officials refuse to enforce the rule. While there are six ongoing investigations, there have been no fines issued over violations of the rule, even though evidence is readily available that most ships are going twice the speed limit. Another species has been told – please just go die already.

What a sad state of affairs.

*I am leaving this typo in because it’s funny. And we could all use some humor.